Thoughts That Cannot Be Contained

For the past couple weeks, I have been thinking of my mother more and more. This was probably triggered by the loss of my grandfather. I have not fully processed the loss of this man that meant so much to me, who protected me, guided me and gave me more than I could ever repay. He was there for me as a father in ways my actual father simply could not be. He taught me what to look for in a husband and what a father should be for my children.

He did this not just in the way he behaved, but also in things he did not do. He was not perfect but he was my grandfather.

But losing him hit me in a way I did not expect. I have been feeling more and more that I do not have enough time left on this Earth. I have been trying internally to do so much, to love as much as I can, feel as much as I can, so that when my fire burns out I know it was a bright and vibrant fire. 

I am not sure I can say my mother had enough time, she died at the age of 33. I worry many times that my days are numbered just as hers were, but how can I know for sure. I cannot. So now I think of her and it is like a fading picture, each year she is further and further in my head. The ache of losing her is not constant, but it is as powerful as it was years ago.

You do not know the pain of losing a parent until you have lost a parent. It is just one of those things. You may try to understand and to feel for the person, but you will never know. Personally, I hope you never get to.

Growing older, I wish I am able to share these moments with the people I love more. To smile together, cry together, argue with each other and to get advice so valuable it cannot be bought. But not only do I long for her, I pray and hope that I will be able to love my children the way they should be loved. To be able to guide and nurture them the way she did for me, the way my grandfather did for me.

As humans we have a purpose, before we leave this Earth we fulfill that purpose. I know the purpose my mother and grandfather played in my life. Yes, I wish I had them longer, but I had them long enough...I trust God did what was best.

So I will cry when my heart becomes overwhelmed, but I will also honour them by living a full life. I will honour them by loving with a fire so deep it cannot be extinguished. I will touch hearts and lives in all the ways I can.

This is my mission and my hope. 

I miss you more than I can express to anyone and more than can be understood. I love you and I pray each day your soul is resting in peace. 

Advice and Beyond
@Looking_Within

Step out today...IN FAITH

Things happen for a reason...How many of us believe this statement without doubts? Honestly, not a lot.

As is expected, we find more understanding in the good things that happens to us, rather than the things that are not so good. This is natural because I mean if I get a promotion of course I'm going to say it is because of my hard work and dedication. On the other hand,  if I am demoted or let go, I will find it hard to figure out what the reason for this could possibly be.

Not all persons are like these, there are some persons who believe in God's will and grace. They believe that he does not give us more than we can bear and that all the little things tie into a bigger picture.

Do you want to know the truth? It does! We won't always understand why things happen but you trust and believe in God's will you will be able to continue to have hope. Your faith won't waver and crumble because things aren't going the way you wish it would.

Things don't just end, they give way for new beginnings and possibilities. 

Your life isn't over because you lost your job, you didn't get promoted or you are broke. As long as you are breathing there is hope and a chance for things to turn around.

But it's not that easy, you have to take the first steps and keep moving in faith. Maybe it won't come immediate...most times it doesn't. We have to work hard and continue to work because we know God's plans WILL be fulfilled. All that you need to make this work will come to you,  you just have to take those steps.

STEP OUT IN FAITH! LET IT BE YOUR FASHION.

Until next time...
Advice & Beyond
@Looking_Within