Lock the Door...Tight!

Respect People enough to provide Closure...

Closure: "...psychological term that describe an individual's desire for a firm answer to a question and an aversion toward ambiguity. The term "need" denotes a motivated tendency to seek out information."

No one likes to have things left undone, or watch a captivating movie but not see the end. In the same breath, most people need closure and they need a sense that the chapter has ended and they can move on. Unfortunately life plays in such a way that we are bound to have our fair share of cliffhangers. We will be faced with those inevitable situations where there can be no closure.

But what about those times when closure is possible but we either deny or are denied that luxury. What do we say or do then? I read somewhere that when a relationship ends, we should always do an autopsy of the relationship, this allows us to gain closure and step forward with an insight that facilitates improvements.

Sadly, there are some of us who are so closed up by fear and pride that we deny the people we care about, or once cared about, the right to closure. We fuss over things gone wrong and offer resolution in a dismissive and debilitative manner. We fail to see that not dealing with important matters can stifle us and others to the point of death. This death is slow, painful and to the eyes of the deniers it is invisible.

We have to stop denying ourselves and others of the relief closure brings. We have to stop accepting situations where closure is denied. So let us look at some of the ways in which we can get closure or give it.

1. Communication: This is KEY. We have to allow for free flow of interaction that allows for healthy expression. People need to feel comfortable to deal.

2. Interest: Sometimes all the card may be right but someone just doesn't 'feel' like it. Indifference has a way of making us look cold, so we need to be careful of that. We have to find it in ourselves to consider another person's feeling and not just shrug them off.

3. Understanding: This is very important as well when trying to seek closure. We don't all feel the same way about every situation, people are different and so are their reactions to the things that happen to them. You may not always agree on everything, so understanding is necessary when trying to move on.

When we don't have the sense that a chapter has ended or a door was closed, the same issue may repeat itself in different forms in our lives. There are some weeds in our relationship that stem from an issue we never really resolved or got over. So we have to decide that even if our hands get dirty, we will pull that weed out.

Advice & Beyond

@Looking_Within