FEB 2014 Writing Challenge - Day 9

Theme song of my life...

This is beyond difficult.

When I listen to music, and I mean songs that really hit me, I am no longer here. My heart beats with the song and I can't help but to sing it as well. It is hard for me to find a song to be the theme song of my life right now, because I am actually all over the place. I try to find my footing, but right now I am not sure where that is.

The song I chose though, speaks to how I want to feel as well as how I feel now. It is 

Nashville Cast - A Life That's Good (feat. Lennon & Maisy)

Sittin' here tonight,

By the fire light,

it reminds me I already have more than I should.

With all that I have been through in my life, one would think I would be worse off than I am now. With everything that has happened recently, I am beyond grateful that I have a roof over my head, a job and food to eat. I have more than I should and more than many could even dream of. My riches right now cannot be borrowed, they are not material but are apart of my soul, my mind and my being.

I don't need fame, no one to know my name,

at the end of the day,

Lord I pray, I have a life that's good.

A lot of people crave to be know and seen. Honestly, I don't need the flashy, I don't ask for popularity. I want to be happy and to be able to make others happy. So I don't strive to be like the Kardashians, or anyone else on E! or Bravo or another of those other reality shows. If I am only known by my friends and family, and I am able to make a change in their lives, then, shoot, I am beyond grateful.

Two arms around me, Heaven to ground me,

and a family that always calls me home.

Four wheels to get there, enough love to share

and a sweet sweet sweet song

At the end of the day,

Lord I pray ,

I have a life that's good.

What is more satisfying than the gift of love? What more can we ask for when we have stability, companionship and the heavenly grace of God? This is my want and my need. Some may think I am not asking for a lot and i need to strive for more, but this is the greatest gift and the hardest to achieve for most. I will not be lonely, sad, homeless or any of that. I will have a life that's good.

Sometimes I'm hard on me,

When dreams don't come easy,

I wanna look back and say,

I did all that I could,

Yeah at the end of the day, Lord I pray,

I have a life that's good.

Life isn't as easy as we may wish for it to be, and things get hard and right now I feel stuck. I feel as if I need to be doing way more than I am not. Yes, I am young, but I have dreams as the song says and they are not coming easy. I want to go back to school and get my master's, have a better job and start a family. I pray for the strength and the blessings that will help me to achieve these things.  But I also want to know that when it is all said and done, I did my best and I lived.

at the end of the day, Lord I pray

I have a life that's good

I pray for a life that is good, and I will also work to have a good life. I promise myself that I will focus on the positives in my life, I will give thanks and spread kindness to others. I pray for the strength to forgive, to guide and to help others. I pray...at the end of the day...for a LIFE THAT IS GOOD.

I guess it wasn't so hard after all.

Advice & Beyond

@Looking_Within

Where are you going?

Today I went to church for the first time this year...funny. Anywho, it was an experience that solidified my start to a better year.

The Gospel lesson spoke of the journey Joseph and Mary took to keep Jesus safe from Herod. The reverend tied this lesson of journey to that of the new year which should bring hope.

What are our future plans? How did we learn from the past year and the experiences we had?

She gave three lovely steps to moving forward...
1. Reflection
2. Regeneration
3. Resolution

We have to first reflect on the past in order to really make the best of the future. Reflect on the good and the bad in a way that allows for improvement in your existence and an appreciation of the chances we have.

We may not understand why bad things happen, but trust in the ways of God and the purpose these experiences hold.

A new year is a new chance for regeneration, for learning, perfecting and overall development. It is a time for hope not regret, because we have a chance at change.

So after you have reflected and felt regenerate, make the commitment and write down your resolutions. Make an effort to fulfill them so that this year may bring growth and not the same old, same old.

So I leave you with that message of new beginnings and pray you make full use of the chance to make it better and fulfill your purpose.

Advice & Beyond
@Looking_Within

New Year

New Year...

Hey peeps, it has been a while since I placed my fingers on the letter keys and just left my feelings flow, so I figured now is a better time than any.

It is the New Year!!! So happy we could all live to see this year and all the wonders it has to offer. With that said, I like many others have written down the things I want to improve on for this year. I did this not because it is cliche or expected, but because I need to take control of my life and this is the way I know how.

What is the point in living if you don't feel fulfilled and satisfied at the end of the day? Why should the bad days take over and dominate your perspective? This was beginning to consume me, the bad days, the bad feelings, the "I can't be bothered anymore" until I started to lose interest in the things I love. So I decided that with the gift of a new year, I will change this and develop a better and healthier me, both inside and out.

I have included my friends in this as well, because it is always easier to make changes when the people around you allow you to. Growth is easy with support, so I want to be there for them as much as I want them there for me.

So I challenge you my few readers, take the time to put your pen to paper and solidify the commitment to achieve your goals whether big or small, sign it and work towards it. Take the initiative and control your life and well being. Involve your friends, family and spouse because a journey walked together will bring you closer.

Our goal for this year should be healthy well-being!! Inside and Out!!!

    Advice & Beyond...  

@Looking_Within

Soundtrack of My Life

Track 2

For the past month, almost every morning I get up and right before bed; I listen to I Wont Give Up sung by Lea Michelle in Glee.

I choose this song as my second song on my soundtrack because it describes exactly how I feel right now. I know the song may seem like one for a couple but I sing every word to myself in the shower and the mirror. 

My favourite line is, ’ We've got a lot to learn and God knows we’re worth it. No I won’t give up.’ Lately I have been in a tough place, crying or just withdrawing and I honestly feel as if things have not been this rough for me emotionally. I am feeling mourning and worry in a great degree, I worry I am becoming depressed, but I refuse. I rebuke this sadness in the name of Jesus Christ. I pray for peace of mind and heart. 

Sadness is not a great feeling though necessary. I hate feeling alone and misunderstood, I hate feeling like there is a cloud following me every where I go. I want to live my life to the fullest and leave my mark on this world and I won’t give up. I most definitely won’t.

It’s funny because today Patrice asked me if anyone ever told me I have an old soul; and in this song, Lea sings of herself as a star that has been through so much and just won’t give up. That is me. A star who has experienced pain, sorrow, happiness and excitement. I have been loved, hated, used and abused. I have been the counselor  and the patient. I am not 50 years old, I am 21 years of age and I know I have a lot more experiencing to go through. I have a lot more lessons to learn and bridges to burn. I am changing and growing everyday I wake and breathe. I won’t give up. When the going gets rough and tough, I will not give up.