For the past month, almost every morning I get up and right before bed; I listen to I Wont Give Up sung by Lea Michelle in Glee.
I choose this song as my second song on my soundtrack because it describes exactly how I feel right now. I know the song may seem like one for a couple but I sing every word to myself in the shower and the mirror.
My favourite line is, ’ We've got a lot to learn and God knows we’re worth it. No I won’t give up.’ Lately I have been in a tough place, crying or just withdrawing and I honestly feel as if things have not been this rough for me emotionally. I am feeling mourning and worry in a great degree, I worry I am becoming depressed, but I refuse. I rebuke this sadness in the name of Jesus Christ. I pray for peace of mind and heart.
Sadness is not a great feeling though necessary. I hate feeling alone and misunderstood, I hate feeling like there is a cloud following me every where I go. I want to live my life to the fullest and leave my mark on this world and I won’t give up. I most definitely won’t.
It’s funny because today Patrice asked me if anyone ever told me I have an old soul; and in this song, Lea sings of herself as a star that has been through so much and just won’t give up. That is me. A star who has experienced pain, sorrow, happiness and excitement. I have been loved, hated, used and abused. I have been the counselor and the patient. I am not 50 years old, I am 21 years of age and I know I have a lot more experiencing to go through. I have a lot more lessons to learn and bridges to burn. I am changing and growing everyday I wake and breathe. I won’t give up. When the going gets rough and tough, I will not give up.
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