Everyone has that someone or something that they feel they lost, that they can never get back, or make right. Living life in regrets is like walking on a treadmill, you go nowhere.
I know how it feels to want to make things right but it doesn’t seem to work. Honestly, when things go wrong, I always blame myself, even when logically, I know I wasn’t wrong. But I always feel as if I could have done more.
I find that I am more focused on other people than myself. There are a few persons that I no longer talk to, and though I talk a good talk of telling everyone that I don’t give a damn, there isn’t a day that passes and I don’t think to ask these persons how they are doing.
In fact, I have done it on most occasions. What I have found though, is that if people want to talk to you, they will talk to you. People take advantage of those who they see care a lot. So yes, I have stopped trying to make things better. Because if a simple ‘Good Night’ is hard to choke out, then I don’t want to ask you how you have been doing.
It’s not easy, trust me. I still feel guilty and as if I need to do more, as if I can repair the friendship that has been lost. But the truth is that, I can’t. Why? Because they don’t want to, and you can’t force people to care. You can’t control the feelings and actions of other people. I have to remind myself of this everyday.
I have to remind myself that I did my best and I won’t stand for less from anyone else. If I care enough to try very hard, then why can’t you?
Yes, I wasn’t very specific as to the relationships I am referring to, and honestly, it is because it is because of the dissonance I feel about this situation. It is hard for me to fully indulge, because I still fear being judged.
So remind yourself of this, you deserve the best.
No comments:
Post a Comment