Learn to say what you mean…

Learn to say what you mean…

People aren’t able to read your mind. Maybe there are some special people who can sense emotions, and if the movies are right, some persons can read minds. But that gift is rare. A mundane person is unable to know exactly what you are thinking. They can guess, based on the nature of the relationship, but they won’t always be right or perfectly accurate.

You can’t expect your partner or friend to know what you mean when you say the exact opposite. ‘No I’m fine you can go to the party.’ When what you really mean is ‘Yes, I don’t want you to go to the party.’

Some people are unable to get their thoughts out and get them out effectively, this is something the psycho-sociological world has considered and has come up with different tips to consider.

• Be clear in what you say: Ambiguity leads to assumptions that can end up hurting the relationship more than you know. 
• Freedom of speech and expression: You have a right to say how you feel, however some things need to be filtered. Remember that context and tone is very important in expressing yourself, especially when it is something serious and may cause tension. Be careful not to say everything that comes to your head, or if so, know how to say it to reduce defensiveness.
• Emotional Awareness: What you feel can affect what you say more than what you think. It can also affect the way we respond to another person and our ability to understand what they have to say. Be aware of how you feel and express that, but also remember to make a conscious effect to not let it cloud your vision.
• Listen: People need to feel heard and understood. In the same way that you feel compelled to express your thoughts and feelings, the person you are talking to will want to do the same. Ensure that your partner feels comfortable to express him/herself. Be sure to listen actively to what he/she has to say. It can affect the relationship greatly when a partner feels as if they are always the listener, but never the one being listened to.

Relationships are tough. They are tricky, but they are amazing. You can’t also predict or control a person’s reaction; but what you can do, is ensure you do the best you can, to prevent the worse ones.